I leave tomorrow at noon, yet I have felt the anxiety for days -- all worth it, of course. Now if I can just organize my thoughts to share with you the panic-feeling, I may actually finish this blog. (Note: I didn’t know how to continue a draft, so I posted it, copied/pasted it, and deleted.) A bit frustrating, but it’s a learning experience. And I know my friends will forgive my errors . . .
My biggest fear is the obvious, but I hate to say it, but what is this blog for but to be honest (and I could use 'but' one more time I'm certain). The take-off and not making it to the destination. There . . . I said it. And with no companion by my side, at least one I know, whose hand will I hold if I have a bit of panic consume me? Sure, I could hope for a handsome gentleman, or at least one who would tolerate my silliness (think French Kiss -- oh I love that movie), but I won't be counting on that scenario.
Speaking of companion, what a long flight with a complete stranger next to me. Images rummage through my mind . . . it could go many different ways. I may have to bury my head in my Kindle for most of the trip. Or maybe not, the "bright side" hope.
And I had to count my Celexa, double check my Xanax; need I say more . . .
May I add, I hate technology. Yes, I love what it gives me, music, connections, but when I don't know how to use it, I hate it! All I wanted was to add Mumford and Sons and Strand of Oaks to listen to, but I couldn’t complete the download. Two hours later, I gave up. (My patience when I’m anxious is rather crappy, so I had to walk away, still angry that I couldn’t figure it out.) Thankfully dear friend Katie loaned me an Ipod, so I do have music, and my mother is loaning me her Ipad, so I have a connection to the world, if I need it.
On a positive note, I officially have my ticket to Amsterdam. I printed it, a beautiful object to be able to hold. In approximately 10 hours I will be on the plane . . . taking many deep breaths.
My biggest fear is the obvious, but I hate to say it, but what is this blog for but to be honest (and I could use 'but' one more time I'm certain). The take-off and not making it to the destination. There . . . I said it. And with no companion by my side, at least one I know, whose hand will I hold if I have a bit of panic consume me? Sure, I could hope for a handsome gentleman, or at least one who would tolerate my silliness (think French Kiss -- oh I love that movie), but I won't be counting on that scenario.
Speaking of companion, what a long flight with a complete stranger next to me. Images rummage through my mind . . . it could go many different ways. I may have to bury my head in my Kindle for most of the trip. Or maybe not, the "bright side" hope.
And I had to count my Celexa, double check my Xanax; need I say more . . .
May I add, I hate technology. Yes, I love what it gives me, music, connections, but when I don't know how to use it, I hate it! All I wanted was to add Mumford and Sons and Strand of Oaks to listen to, but I couldn’t complete the download. Two hours later, I gave up. (My patience when I’m anxious is rather crappy, so I had to walk away, still angry that I couldn’t figure it out.) Thankfully dear friend Katie loaned me an Ipod, so I do have music, and my mother is loaning me her Ipad, so I have a connection to the world, if I need it.
On a positive note, I officially have my ticket to Amsterdam. I printed it, a beautiful object to be able to hold. In approximately 10 hours I will be on the plane . . . taking many deep breaths.
It’s now 9:30 p.m. Monday evening. I shall put this to rest. I’m not proud of the writing, but it’s honest. Anxiety-ridden rambling . . . {big smile}
Here's to tomorrow. This, a gift from a dear friend, is what will help me relax:
Good luck Krista, the plane ride will be fine you are always good at saying the right thing even if it is stranger ridden. :)
ReplyDeleteAh, thank you, Raina.
ReplyDelete